Mind: The Software that Breeds Good or Evil

Mind: The Software that Breeds Good or Evil

• What provoked a man to aim a gun and kill twenty young children in Newtown, USA?
• What triggered a group of men to brutally rape a woman in a running bus in Delhi, India?
• What prompted a man to stab twenty-two school children in Chengping, China?

These monstrous crimes were the headlines on news media across the world in a span of one week. It stunned our conscience. Everybody agrees these are ‘senseless acts of evil’ by all standards. Sure, these are crimes perpetrated in far away towns. Beautiful, innocent children with a whole life ahead of them were abruptly and violently cut off from life. A young, vivacious woman was brutalised. I don’t know personally any of the victims. Nor do I know the ones who committed those appallingly evil acts. I didn’t see first-hand the inconsolable grief of the parents, friends, and families. However this I know - the survivors and those close to them must be traumatized to the very core of their soul. Shocked and devastated, their lives have been changed for ever and I am sure people everywhere are looking for answers.

Also I saw incredibly noble acts in the wake of this evil. The teacher hero who hid the kids in the closet. The principal who asked the teachers to take to safety while she confronted the shooter. The outpouring of love across the nation for the young woman who lay critical in the ICU. People responded with prayers vigils, consolation messages, memorial services. People held hands with each other and cried, hugged each other to offer comfort. The US President Obama flew down to the small town and offered a message of hope. The communities came together in support, pledging to go on. Ann Curry of NBC started a twitter action to do random acts of kindness called ‘#26Acts Of Kindness’ and it was caught on by millions around the world. Outpouring of noble responses as rejoinder in the face of deeply hurting evil actions!

I also realize that these evil can be unleashed in our town too. We need to prevent evil before it goes on the loose again. That is why we need to know answers! There might be a man deviously devising violence and destruction and getting ready to act in a school, college or factory nearby. There might be a group of people who will spontaneously do dastardly actions. It could be people whom I meet at the bus stops or the people waiting in the queue with me. While apparently leading a regular life, somebody may be deliberately scheming and plotting how to maximise the pain and bloodshed they can inflict on others. And some of them even plan to take their own life before anybody gets to them. Where do these thoughts come from and how does it all start? We may not have all the answers but we may be able to find some pointers!

The Software

We don't understand the human mind yet, just as we don't understand the body. Even after we completely analyse the genetic code and fully explain all physical mechanisms of the body, we still may not understand how mind is formed, developed or how it works. Our body as a physical outfit is like the computer hardware – complex processor, memory, input-output mechanisms. If that analogy is apparent, then you don’t have to think twice to see the mind as the software – the intricate operating software and application programs all bundled together. Mind is the unseen power controlling the body, just as the software is the unseen control sequence that makes a computer to do what it is commanded to do. This complex piece of software makes us who we are. Samuel Mathew is not the one hundred and seventy-two centimetres long, seventy five kilo mass organized in a body with a head, two legs, two hands. It is the mind that gives me the personality that I am. Although we associate the name with the physical body, the personality is what we relate to. Without the software, the computer is just like the dead body sitting around, incapable of doing anything.

When the baby is born, as it emerges into the world from the factory shop floor called the mother’s womb, the general software of the mind is in the developmental stage. Just like a fresh installation of Windows. Mostly no application installed other than the basic programs to respond to pain and hunger. As the baby grows, the software – or in layman’s terms ‘mind’ - also expands and grows. Application programs to crawl, stand and walk are installed. Then on, a plethora of programs are developed and installed from childhood through young adult years. The program to brush and ride a bike are installed. Math, English, Science theories are all installed from school. Etiquette and traditions are taught by elders. Everything in life is learned. An absolutely magical phenomenon takes place when the mind absorbs information and learns skills from its surroundings. The eyes, the ears, the written verses, spoken words, verbal cues, and non-verbal hints are the different medium through which one learns. With the technological advances, humans are trying to replicate this phenomenon with artificial intelligence in computer, but we are nowhere near what the mind does so naturally. Imaginations in the mind can soar to reach the end of the universe instantaneously. Equations can be solved; beautiful sculptures and pictures can be created. Emotions can be expressed in poetry and novels; hatred and anger can come out of the mind as words. And they can make the body to act in numerous ways. Mind can force one to travel to distant lands. A bad news can make a person depressed and the good news can make a person jump with joy. All of these are the result of the software executing the program modules of the mind, expressed through the body.

The software gets customized through the years, based on the experiences and learning from childhood onwards. Positive experiences mould the person’s mind to lead a well-adjusted, productive life while negative experiences may cause damage to the psyche and shape behaviours that are harmful to self and others. Just as wounds and fractures cause pain and damage in the body, adverse experiences cause pain and damage to the mind. Some wounds leave scars even after healing. That is true for both body and mind. Some wounds of the minds may lead to permanent mental disabilities just as wounds to the body may cause permanent physical disabilities. The difference is that just as mind is invisible, mental disabilities are also invisible.

Mental Disabilities:  the Dysfunctional Software

Emotionally balanced interpersonal relationships are the clue to the well-adjusted happy life of a person. Respect for self and others, willingness to share, tendency to be kind and merciful, ability to forgive, empathy to be sensitive to others, readiness to protect the weak, courage to stand up against injustice, keeping an open mind, affinity to be fair and just - all of these good behaviours are essential to a fruitful, peaceful life. They are the products of positive experiences in life and good relationships flow out of this. Early childhood negative experiences that involve trauma - abuse, neglect, rejection, suppression, violence, systematic indoctrination, lack of balanced relationships - can cause a mind to be dysfunctional leading to personality disorders, bipolar disorder, depression, OCD, and a host of labelled negative behaviours. These are termed as mental disabilities. Labels help us to categorize and address issues. But it may not help us understand the person behind the label. The real person behind may have more than one problem. Understanding the person is the clue to healing and recovery.

Dysfunctions Manifested

The dysfunctions of the mind lead to warped thinking that prevents one from forming healthy relationships. These may go unnoticed all along or may be dormant for life. However, sometimes, it surfaces and causes a person to act in destructive ways - rape, shooting, theft, marital infidelity, stabbing, pre-meditated murder, uncontrollable violence, rebellion to authority, lawlessness, temper tantrums, hate crimes, megalomania, sexual perversions and a host of other negative behaviours. These can cause pain and agony to self and to people around them. Sometimes, the person may take an evil pleasure in causing pain and injury to the persons around. The negativity can have far reaching effect if the person is in authority. In recent memories, we know the twisted, sick thinking of Hitler that affected the whole world. Six million Jews were killed and millions perished in the Second World War around the world because of a single master mind that had skewed thinking. We can reasonably assume that the killer in Newtown, the rapists in Delhi and the attacker in China would have inflicted much wider and deeper harm if they were in positions of influence and authority!

The Road Map to Evil

Because mind is so complex and is the source of all actions, it is imperative that mental disabilities are not left unaddressed. A person with a mental disability can plot, detail and execute actions that are as complex and severe as the mind can imagine. With the advances in technology and with the easy availability of a plethora of hi-tech tools such as the internet, computers, guns, rockets and the like, it is possible to inflict pain that are much more severe than ever before. Within seconds, one can get in touch with millions across the globe to damage. One example is the simple way of propagating computer viruses created by geniuses who have skewed thinking. How fast the virus programs wipe out data from computers around the world, while their makers (programmers who can write brilliant programs) sit in the basement of some apartment gleefully wallowing in the evil pleasure of knowing that they caused pain to millions around the world. They may not have the physical courage to get a gun and shoot people or rape a woman, but they find pleasure in broadcasting programs that causes computers to crash and networks to stall causing panic in corporate networks or even across the world.

Then there are mental disabilities such as schizophrenia that require medical intervention in addition to counselling and therapy. Chemical imbalances in the body can cause a person to have hallucinations associated with schizophrenia that may cause abnormal behaviour. Sometimes persons with long periods of continuous drug addiction can have schizophrenic symptoms such as hallucinations even when not under influence of the drug and this may lead to depression and other mental instability. There is no permanent cure for these chemical imbalances but with medications there can be remissions that will help lead an independent life. Taking medications in such cases should be monitored consistently as break in medications can cause relapse that may lead to disastrous conditions. The tragedy is that some persons who should be under medications break off. The killer in Virginia Tech campus in the USA was such a person.

Is there a solution?

Appropriate, timely interventions may be able to heal mental disabilities. The first step is to acknowledge the problem. In physical disability, tangible limitations are usually apparent and that makes it easier for the person to acknowledge and others to understand. But that is not the case for mental disabilities. Often the person is in denial. He not only refuses to undergo interventions but also may accuse others of malicious intent. Medications are not the right approach to mental disabilities caused by traumatic experiences in life. Medicines address diseases and not mental disabilities.

First the cause has to be identified. The mind has to be probed to find the source of the mental dysfunction. This probe may not only involve the person but also parents, siblings, other family or friends who might know the root cause. Often traumatic experiences cause disturbed feelings and un-reconciled emotions and sometimes the disturbance is so intense that the mind becomes unbalanced and the condition is analogous to open wounds in a body. Imagine a festered wound with blood and pus oozing out, worms squirming in the rotting flesh. Similar is the effect of hurts and traumas carried around for a long time without reconciliation and closure.

Once the source is reasonably determined, the person has to undergo therapy to recognize and then become reconciled to the condition which is similar functionally to healing of a physical wound. One has to reach a level of insight to objectively look at the problem, verbalize, confront and reconcile so as to release the grip on the person’s psyche. This is a long process and psychiatrists, psychologists and social workers can be facilitators. The healing has to happen within, far away from the reach of the external facilitator, but instantaneously accessible for the person. Family and friends’ support, understanding, encouragement, emotional uplift, acceptance and re-engagement in productive life are crucial in the healing of the mind.

Warning Signs are Important

Mental health is important to lead a regular life and if one has mental disabilities there should be ways in which to address the problem. Ignoring is not a solution. There should be ways to identify and take action to rectify the problem. In the case of mental disabilities, deviant behaviours are the symptoms. Physical fitness, intelligence and ability to carry on education or job without limitations can be misleading if we leave out behaviours. The alerts for mental health issues could be consistent irritability, physical and emotional abusive conduct, violent behaviour, inability to keep normal relationships with anyone, tendency to get fired from jobs consistently, secretive goings-on that causes suspicion, cruelty to animals, bullying of younger or weaker siblings, or similar odd characteristics. They should be noticed. Once such deviant behaviours are observed, labelling and proceeding for counselling may not be the immediate recourse.  One should look for additional behavioural clues that confirm the observation. There is bound to be other trends that will be of similar nature. It may be worthwhile sharing one’s suspicion to a colleague or two with whom such sensitive issue can be discussed. A sense of objectiveness and maturity is required to handle such issues and so discussing with anybody and everybody could bring about totally adverse reactions. If others also corroborate, it may be worthwhile talking to immediate family to find out if anything odd is observed at home. These prying may be difficult or even dangerous as it may offend the person concerned or the family. Even when approaching family members one has to choose somebody who has the maturity to look at things objectively. A straight question or blunt observation may not be the right thing to do. It has to be tackled sensitively. If there is a genuine problem, it is quite possible that there may be observations happening at home that are red flags also. So presenting it in such a way through probing questions might be appropriate. Taking another person along when one confronts a family member might be apt.

It should be emphasized that behaviour observations for oddity or suspicious demeanours can be misleading unless observed for a period of time. Human behaviours are so complex that one cannot come to conclusions quickly. An odd behaviour observed could be just a one-off behaviour. So consistency is a major factor. Or connecting the dots of multiple behaviours over a period is important. Psychological tests even could be misleading unless analysed and concluded within the context. One could take a psychological testing procedure and answer oddly if things were normal before taking the test – like having an argument that caused an upset mind. Observations have to be over a period of time and in context.

Parenting: The Antidote

There is no way to know accurately and immediately who has a mental disability similar through tissue biopsy that reveals a cancerous growth. However, there are sure shot techniques to prevent mental disabilities. The best possible antidote to prevent mental disabilities is good parenting. A balanced, good family environment where a loving father and mother complementing each other’s roles, raising a child together, moulding the young mind to love, respect, share and care, is the ideal preventive measure. There is very less chance that deviant behaviour will happen where a child is loved, encouraged and allowed freedom to think while discipline and guidance are given. This is not a difficult proposition if the husband and wife have good relationship with each other. Often dysfunctional families occur when the husband or wife or both have deviant behaviours themselves. Some mothers are over protective while some fathers are absent in the child’s life. Involvement while providing freedom is important. For every aspect of parenting there is an opposite balancing act required. Love and discipline, protectiveness and independence have to be balanced. As the child’s mind is developing, the balance and consistency from parents are what shapes the mind. Wider exposure in the society and the experiences outside the family can still cause trauma, but that will be healed in a consistently balanced home environment. Not much preaching or cajoling is required if the parents model the qualities of integrity, love, care, kindness, forgiveness through their own life. It is also true that parenting is a trial and error and all parents err along the way. But if the parents are persistent, even if you have erred in parenting, you can recoup if you love the children unconditionally, accept them as they are and give them freedom to think. Even if your children digress in the teen years, the values you instilled early in childhood will remain etched in the mind and resurface and redirect them to the right path at some point in time. Remember the verse "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it".

Joint Parenting is Critically Important

Parents have the biggest joint responsibility in shaping the child. Not singly, but jointly. Parents should not give the responsibility of raising the child to the grandparents, the day-care nannies, the school or the government. It is the parents’ primary responsibility and their responsibility alone primarily. Others may contribute, they may play supplementing roles, but the parents cannot put this responsibility on another person. Join hands with your spouse to shape your children so that the world they live will be a better place to live after you leave.

If you are a married couple, your freedom ends the moment a child is formed from your relationship. The freedom was partly surrendered by you when you said, ‘I do’ and tied the knot. But still there could be a way of separating if both of you adults agreed. But that freedom is also gone with the arrival of the child in your lives. The child didn’t ask to come into the world. It was your decision – conscious or otherwise is meaningless – or at least the consequence of your action. The freedom to take decisions independently, looking out for your own interest is over. The child with a mind of its own, a body of its own, but helpless in every other way is literally placed in your hands. You can have an ex-wife, but you cannot have an ex-child. You have brought him into the world, but you don’t have the permission to take him out. That is a No, No. You have only one way to go. Go forward and raise the child. Having been brought into the world at your invitation or to say plainly “forced to take a life form out of your desire” - he deserves to get parented right. Surely he needs nutritious food and physical care, but his mind has to be shaped positively through love and care, the right values, the right attitudes that will help him to grow and be a positive contributor to the society. Your primary responsibility is to provide for this child till he or she becomes responsible adult, to protect from bad influence, to direct in the right path, to live a life he or she can follow. If you don’t then he may be exposed to traumas that he is not equipped to handle and will cause permanent damage to his psyche.

Take Responsibility

It is easy to blame the NRA lobby, the gun dealers, the law makers and the inaction of the police for violence using a gun. While there is some truth in it too, the violence will continue as long as we produce children and allow them to grow in broken families, families where parents do not provide a loving caring environment. We all want our life to have peace of mind, joy, and satisfaction. We all want a life that is full of kindness and mercy and forgiveness. We want a world everybody shares what they have. Now what is preventing us from having it in our family? Starting with me, if I turn around and say, my family will be a place of peace. I will care for my children and be actively involved in parenting, shaping his or her future, the evil can be wiped out. That is not a big deal either. It is achievable. We have to put our mind to it. Those of us who are not committed that way, can we prevent births? Can we avoid bringing children into this world to be left to tend by themselves?

The human mind needs moulding, shaping. Somehow the software that is installed in the human body is a generalized software. It can be customized the way one wants. While in the adult life, a person can choose to think in a certain way, the early childhood is like the blank slate. Anything can be written on it. Religious bigotry can be written with as equal ease as is acceptance and respect for every other religion. Racial superiority and hatred can be programmed as can be human equality and brotherhood. Cheating can be embedded as well as integrity. Sharing and caring can be imbibed as well as cruelty and selfishness. Instead of leaving it to be programmed by external forces it is the parents who should take their role seriously and write those values. While a mother writes codes for secure home, a father writes complementing codes on risk taking and adventure. A mother writes codes on tenderness and sensitivity while the father writes codes of strength and courage. A whole person is formed as the complementing programs are written. A single parent has the need for a complementing role of the other gender. Unfortunately sometimes it is not available as the single parent struggles to survive daily pulling together the children and making ends meet.

Families have to be strong and balanced. It is a one way journey forward once a child comes into your life. There are no exits but the final one. As you shape the character and write the programs in the mind, you are going to be responsible in making this world a better place or worse place for the future generation. Your one offspring can turn out to be a Gandhi or a Martin Luther King of the future. It has also the possibility of producing a Hitler or Idi Amin.