Mind: The Software that Breeds Good or Evil
- What provoked a man to aim a gun and kill twenty
young children in Newtown, USA?
- What triggered a group of men to brutally rape
a woman in a running bus in Delhi, India?
- What prompted a man to stab twenty-two school
children in Chengping, China?
These monstrous crimes were the
headlines on news media across the world in a span of one week. It stunned our
conscience. Everybody agrees these are ‘senseless acts of evil’ by all
standards. Sure, these are crimes perpetrated in far away towns. Beautiful,
innocent children with a whole life ahead of them were abruptly and violently
cut off from life. A young, vivacious woman was brutalised. I don’t know personally
any of the victims. Nor do I know the ones who committed those appallingly evil
acts. I didn’t see first-hand the inconsolable grief of the parents, friends,
and families. However this I know - the survivors and those close to them must
be traumatized to the very core of their soul. Shocked and devastated, their
lives have been changed for ever and I am sure people everywhere are looking
for answers.
Also I saw incredibly noble acts
in the wake of this evil. The teacher hero who hid the kids in the closet. The
principal who asked the teachers to take to safety while she confronted the
shooter. The outpouring of love across the nation for the young woman who lay
critical in the ICU. People responded with prayers vigils, consolation
messages, memorial services. People held hands with each other and cried,
hugged each other to offer comfort. The US President Obama flew down to the
small town and offered a message of hope. The communities came together in
support, pledging to go on. Ann Curry of NBC started a twitter action to do
random acts of kindness called ‘#26Acts Of Kindness’ and it was caught on by
millions around the world. Outpouring of noble responses as rejoinder in the
face of deeply hurting evil actions!
I also
realize that these evil can be unleashed in our town too. We need to prevent
evil before it goes on the loose again. That is why we need to know answers!
There might be a man deviously devising violence and destruction and getting
ready to act in a school, college or factory nearby. There might be a group of
people who will spontaneously do dastardly actions. It could be people whom I
meet at the bus stops or the people waiting in the queue with me. While
apparently leading a regular life, somebody may be deliberately scheming and
plotting how to maximise the pain and bloodshed they can inflict on others. And
some of them even plan to take their own life before anybody gets to them.
Where do these thoughts come from and how does it all start? We may not have
all the answers but we may be able to find some pointers!
The Software
We don't understand the human mind yet, just as we don't
understand the body. Even after we completely analyse the genetic code and fully
explain all physical mechanisms of the body, we still may not understand how
mind is formed, developed or how it works. Our body as a physical outfit is
like the computer hardware – complex processor, memory, input-output mechanisms.
If that analogy is apparent, then you don’t have to think twice to see the mind
as the software – the intricate operating software and application programs all
bundled together. Mind is the unseen power controlling the body, just as the
software is the unseen control sequence that makes a computer to do what it is
commanded to do. This complex piece of software makes us who we are. Samuel
Mathew is not the one hundred and seventy-two centimetres long, seventy five
kilo mass organized in a body with a head, two legs, two hands. It is the mind
that gives me the personality that I am. Although we associate the name with
the physical body, the personality is what we relate to. Without the software,
the computer is just like the dead body sitting around, incapable of doing
anything.
When the baby is born, as it emerges into the world from the
factory shop floor called the mother’s womb, the general software of the mind is
in the developmental stage. Just like a fresh installation of Windows. Mostly
no application installed other than the basic programs to respond to pain and
hunger. As the baby grows, the software – or in layman’s terms ‘mind’ - also
expands and grows. Application programs to crawl, stand and walk are installed.
Then on, a plethora of programs are developed and installed from childhood
through young adult years. The program to brush and ride a bike are installed. Math,
English, Science theories are all installed from school. Etiquette and
traditions are taught by elders. Everything in life is learned. An absolutely
magical phenomenon takes place when the mind absorbs information and learns
skills from its surroundings. The eyes, the ears, the written verses, spoken
words, verbal cues, and non-verbal hints are the different medium through which
one learns. With the technological advances, humans are trying to replicate this
phenomenon with artificial intelligence in computer, but we are nowhere near
what the mind does so naturally. Imaginations in the mind can soar to reach the
end of the universe instantaneously. Equations can be solved; beautiful
sculptures and pictures can be created. Emotions can be expressed in poetry and
novels; hatred and anger can come out of the mind as words. And they can make
the body to act in numerous ways. Mind can force one to travel to distant
lands. A bad news can make a person depressed and the good news can make a
person jump with joy. All of these are the result of the software executing the
program modules of the mind, expressed through the body.
The software gets customized through the years, based on the
experiences and learning from childhood onwards. Positive experiences mould the
person’s mind to lead a well-adjusted, productive life while negative
experiences may cause damage to the psyche and shape behaviours that are
harmful to self and others. Just as wounds and fractures cause pain and damage
in the body, adverse experiences cause pain and damage to the mind. Some wounds
leave scars even after healing. That is true for both body and mind. Some wounds
of the minds may lead to permanent mental disabilities just as wounds to the
body may cause permanent physical disabilities. The difference is that just as mind
is invisible, mental disabilities are also invisible.
Mental Disabilities: the Dysfunctional Software
Emotionally balanced interpersonal relationships are the
clue to the well-adjusted happy life of a person. Respect for self and others, willingness
to share, tendency to be kind and merciful, ability to forgive, empathy to be
sensitive to others, readiness to protect the weak, courage to stand up against
injustice, keeping an open mind, affinity to be fair and just - all of these good
behaviours are essential to a fruitful, peaceful life. They are the products of
positive experiences in life and good relationships flow out of this. Early
childhood negative experiences that involve trauma - abuse, neglect, rejection,
suppression, violence, systematic indoctrination, lack of balanced
relationships - can cause a mind to be dysfunctional leading to personality
disorders, bipolar disorder, depression, OCD, and a host of labelled negative behaviours.
These are termed as mental disabilities. Labels help us to categorize and
address issues. But it may not help us understand the person behind the label.
The real person behind may have more than one problem. Understanding the person
is the clue to healing and recovery.
Dysfunctions Manifested
The dysfunctions of the mind lead to warped thinking that
prevents one from forming healthy relationships. These may go unnoticed all
along or may be dormant for life. However, sometimes, it surfaces and causes a
person to act in destructive ways - rape, shooting, theft, marital infidelity, stabbing,
pre-meditated murder, uncontrollable violence, rebellion to authority,
lawlessness, temper tantrums, hate crimes, megalomania, sexual perversions and
a host of other negative behaviours. These can cause pain and agony to self and
to people around them. Sometimes, the person may take an evil pleasure in
causing pain and injury to the persons around. The negativity can have far
reaching effect if the person is in authority. In recent memories, we know the twisted,
sick thinking of Hitler that affected the whole world. Six million Jews were
killed and millions perished in the Second World War around the world because
of a single master mind that had skewed thinking. We can reasonably assume that
the killer in Newtown, the rapists in Delhi and the attacker in China would
have inflicted much wider and deeper harm if they were in positions of
influence and authority!
The Road Map to Evil
Because mind is so complex and is the source of all actions,
it is imperative that mental disabilities are not left unaddressed. A person
with a mental disability can plot, detail and execute actions that are as
complex and severe as the mind can imagine. With the advances in technology and
with the easy availability of a plethora of hi-tech tools such as the internet,
computers, guns, rockets and the like, it is possible to inflict pain that are much
more severe than ever before. Within seconds, one can get in touch with
millions across the globe to damage. One example is the simple way of
propagating computer viruses created by geniuses who have skewed thinking. How
fast the virus programs wipe out data from computers around the world, while
their makers (programmers who can write brilliant programs) sit in the basement
of some apartment gleefully wallowing in the evil pleasure of knowing that they
caused pain to millions around the world. They may not have the physical
courage to get a gun and shoot people or rape a woman, but they find pleasure
in broadcasting programs that causes computers to crash and networks to stall
causing panic in corporate networks or even across the world.
Then there are mental disabilities such as schizophrenia
that require medical intervention in addition to counselling and therapy.
Chemical imbalances in the body can cause a person to have hallucinations
associated with schizophrenia that may cause abnormal behaviour. Sometimes
persons with long periods of continuous drug addiction can have schizophrenic
symptoms such as hallucinations even when not under influence of the drug and this
may lead to depression and other mental instability. There is no permanent cure
for these chemical imbalances but with medications there can be remissions that
will help lead an independent life. Taking medications in such cases should be
monitored consistently as break in medications can cause relapse that may lead
to disastrous conditions. The tragedy is that some persons who should be under
medications break off. The killer in Virginia Tech campus in the USA was such a
person.
Is there a solution?
Appropriate, timely interventions may be able to heal mental
disabilities. The first step is to acknowledge the problem. In physical
disability, tangible limitations are usually apparent and that makes it easier
for the person to acknowledge and others to understand. But that is not the
case for mental disabilities. Often the person is in denial. He not only
refuses to undergo interventions but also may accuse others of malicious
intent. Medications are not the right approach to mental disabilities caused by
traumatic experiences in life. Medicines address diseases and not mental
disabilities.
First the cause has to be identified. The mind has to be
probed to find the source of the mental dysfunction. This probe may not only
involve the person but also parents, siblings, other family or friends who
might know the root cause. Often traumatic experiences cause disturbed feelings
and un-reconciled emotions and sometimes the disturbance is so intense that the
mind becomes unbalanced and the condition is analogous to open wounds in a
body. Imagine a festered wound with blood and pus oozing out, worms squirming
in the rotting flesh. Similar is the effect of hurts and traumas carried around
for a long time without reconciliation and closure.
Once the source is reasonably determined, the person has to
undergo therapy to recognize and then become reconciled to the condition which
is similar functionally to healing of a physical wound. One has to reach a
level of insight to objectively look at the problem, verbalize, confront and
reconcile so as to release the grip on the person’s psyche. This is a long
process and psychiatrists, psychologists and social workers can be
facilitators. The healing has to happen within, far away from the reach of the
external facilitator, but instantaneously accessible for the person. Family and
friends’ support, understanding, encouragement, emotional uplift, acceptance
and re-engagement in productive life are crucial in the healing of the mind.
Warning Signs are Important
Mental health is important to lead a regular life and if one
has mental disabilities there should be ways in which to address the problem.
Ignoring is not a solution. There should be ways to identify and take action to
rectify the problem. In the case of mental disabilities, deviant behaviours are
the symptoms. Physical fitness, intelligence and ability to carry on education
or job without limitations can be misleading if we leave out behaviours. The
alerts for mental health issues could be consistent irritability, physical and
emotional abusive conduct, violent behaviour, inability to keep normal
relationships with anyone, tendency to get fired from jobs consistently,
secretive goings-on that causes suspicion, cruelty to animals, bullying of
younger or weaker siblings, or similar odd characteristics. They should be
noticed. Once such deviant behaviours are observed, labelling and proceeding
for counselling may not be the immediate recourse. One should look for additional behavioural
clues that confirm the observation. There is bound to be other trends that will
be of similar nature. It may be worthwhile sharing one’s suspicion to a
colleague or two with whom such sensitive issue can be discussed. A sense of
objectiveness and maturity is required to handle such issues and so discussing
with anybody and everybody could bring about totally adverse reactions. If
others also corroborate, it may be worthwhile talking to immediate family to
find out if anything odd is observed at home. These prying may be difficult or
even dangerous as it may offend the person concerned or the family. Even when
approaching family members one has to choose somebody who has the maturity to
look at things objectively. A straight question or blunt observation may not be
the right thing to do. It has to be tackled sensitively. If there is a genuine
problem, it is quite possible that there may be observations happening at home
that are red flags also. So presenting it in such a way through probing
questions might be appropriate. Taking another person along when one confronts
a family member might be apt.
It should be emphasized that behaviour observations for
oddity or suspicious demeanours can be misleading unless observed for a period
of time. Human behaviours are so complex that one cannot come to conclusions
quickly. An odd behaviour observed could be just a one-off behaviour. So
consistency is a major factor. Or connecting the dots of multiple behaviours
over a period is important. Psychological tests even could be misleading unless
analysed and concluded within the context. One could take a psychological
testing procedure and answer oddly if things were normal before taking the test
– like having an argument that caused an upset mind. Observations have to be
over a period of time and in context.
Parenting: The Antidote
There is no way to know accurately and immediately who has a
mental disability similar through tissue biopsy that reveals a cancerous
growth. However, there are sure shot techniques to prevent mental disabilities.
The best possible antidote to prevent mental disabilities is good parenting. A
balanced, good family environment where a loving father and mother complementing
each other’s roles, raising a child together, moulding the young mind to love,
respect, share and care, is the ideal preventive measure. There is very less
chance that deviant behaviour will happen where a child is loved, encouraged
and allowed freedom to think while discipline and guidance are given. This is
not a difficult proposition if the husband and wife have good relationship with
each other. Often dysfunctional families occur when the husband or wife or both
have deviant behaviours themselves. Some mothers are over protective while some
fathers are absent in the child’s life. Involvement while providing freedom is
important. For every aspect of parenting there is an opposite balancing act
required. Love and discipline, protectiveness and independence have to be
balanced. As the child’s mind is developing, the balance and consistency from
parents are what shapes the mind. Wider exposure in the society and the
experiences outside the family can still cause trauma, but that will be healed in
a consistently balanced home environment. Not much preaching or cajoling is required
if the parents model the qualities of integrity, love, care, kindness,
forgiveness through their own life. It is also true that parenting is a trial
and error and all parents err along the way. But if the parents are persistent,
even if you have erred in parenting, you can recoup if you love the children
unconditionally, accept them as they are and give them freedom to think. Even
if your children digress in the teen years, the values you instilled early in
childhood will remain etched in the mind and resurface and redirect them to the
right path at some point in time. Remember the verse "Direct your children
onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it".
Joint Parenting is Critically Important
Parents have the biggest joint responsibility in shaping the
child. Not singly, but jointly. Parents should not give the responsibility of
raising the child to the grandparents, the day-care nannies, the school or the
government. It is the parents’ primary responsibility and their responsibility
alone primarily. Others may contribute, they may play supplementing roles, but
the parents cannot put this responsibility on another person. Join hands with
your spouse to shape your children so that the world they live will be a better
place to live after you leave.
If you are a married couple, your freedom ends the moment a
child is formed from your relationship. The freedom was partly surrendered by
you when you said, ‘I do’ and tied the knot. But still there could be a way of
separating if both of you adults agreed. But that freedom is also gone with the
arrival of the child in your lives. The child didn’t ask to come into the
world. It was your decision – conscious or otherwise is meaningless – or at
least the consequence of your action. The freedom to take decisions independently,
looking out for your own interest is over. The child with a mind of its own, a
body of its own, but helpless in every other way is literally placed in your
hands. You can have an ex-wife, but you cannot have an ex-child. You have
brought him into the world, but you don’t have the permission to take him out.
That is a No, No. You have only one way to go. Go forward and raise the child.
Having been brought into the world at your invitation or to say plainly “forced
to take a life form out of your desire” - he deserves to get parented right.
Surely he needs nutritious food and physical care, but his mind has to be
shaped positively through love and care, the right values, the right attitudes
that will help him to grow and be a positive contributor to the society. Your
primary responsibility is to provide for this child till he or she becomes
responsible adult, to protect from bad influence, to direct in the right path,
to live a life he or she can follow. If you don’t then he may be exposed to
traumas that he is not equipped to handle and will cause permanent damage to
his psyche.
Take Responsibility
It is easy to blame the NRA lobby, the gun dealers, the law
makers and the inaction of the police for violence using a gun. While there is
some truth in it too, the violence will continue as long as we produce children
and allow them to grow in broken families, families where parents do not
provide a loving caring environment. We all want our life to have peace of
mind, joy, and satisfaction. We all want a life that is full of kindness and
mercy and forgiveness. We want a world everybody shares what they have. Now
what is preventing us from having it in our family? Starting with me, if I turn
around and say, my family will be a place of peace. I will care for my children
and be actively involved in parenting, shaping his or her future, the evil can
be wiped out. That is not a big deal either. It is achievable. We have to put
our mind to it. Those of us who are not committed that way, can we prevent
births? Can we avoid bringing children into this world to be left to tend by
themselves?
The human mind needs moulding, shaping. Somehow the software
that is installed in the human body is a generalized software. It can be
customized the way one wants. While in the adult life, a person can choose to
think in a certain way, the early childhood is like the blank slate. Anything
can be written on it. Religious bigotry can be written with as equal ease as is
acceptance and respect for every other religion. Racial superiority and hatred
can be programmed as can be human equality and brotherhood. Cheating can be
embedded as well as integrity. Sharing and caring can be imbibed as well as
cruelty and selfishness. Instead of leaving it to be programmed by external
forces it is the parents who should take their role seriously and write those
values. While a mother writes codes for secure home, a father writes
complementing codes on risk taking and adventure. A mother writes codes on
tenderness and sensitivity while the father writes codes of strength and
courage. A whole person is formed as the complementing programs are written. A
single parent has the need for a complementing role of the other gender. Unfortunately
sometimes it is not available as the single parent struggles to survive daily
pulling together the children and making ends meet.
Families have to be strong and balanced. It is a one way
journey forward once a child comes into your life. There are no exits but the
final one. As you shape the character and write the programs in the mind, you
are going to be responsible in making this world a better place or worse place
for the future generation. Your one offspring can turn out to be a Gandhi or a
Martin Luther King of the future. It has also the possibility of producing a
Hitler or Idi Amin.
